Forever Remembering Time

Nitty Gritty

Can she constitute my need,
When all else fails..
Well she said a mouthful
Of delicate and intricate words,
Pooling at the bottom
Of my lonely acts.
I know what she did…
Laid down in front of a train
That carried precise feelings
Of a dammed heart of the human.
She bares the truth of unintentional love,
Where we met in Time
Is the sole premisise of
Unthinkable craze,
In a daze she can escape my words,
But she can’t escape the longing
That my every last expendable
Love can accomplish.
She is the utmost cause and effect
By which her eyes portray,
While she betrays her self daily.
The need to be loved,
Awful in its sound,
Is absolutely her problem.
She needs specific attention
That she won’t dare mention
If it means showing a sign of
Her petty heart beating with
Any hint of honesty.

I no longer need answers,
I no longer heed the warnings,
Because my heart has been
Reassured countless times;
That I am sure of is, well,
She told me the truth a while ago..
I undoubtedly deserve better than her.

~You live to desperately reach for something real to hold onto, but you won’t find it here anymore.~ xoxo

I Loved Her

My heart belongs with her,
I’ve been kept up for days
Trying to figure that amaze
She so delicately placed upon my heart.
She is the one at loss,
I’ll tell myself religiously
That she is not the one..
I can’t help but feel gravity
Pulling so strong at my heart strings,
Tugging and heeding intensly.
I am the one hurt,
She is the one hurt
And how can one get past a tragedy
Of love?
I’ll never figure this out
The further I head in doubt
That I’ve been locked in a
Securely kept box…
Until she came along.
The pieces came together
So perfectly,
So perfect we both couldn’t believe
In such a fantasy of true love.
I know that she fell in love,
Maybe I did too…
But one can’t fight forever
For someone who can’t get through
To her purest of feelings.
Maybe someday
She’ll come around,
Maybe someday
She’ll know what she found
When she met me…
When she kissed me…
When she fell so hard
It hurt her for good.
Maybe someday I’ll find a way out,
And maybe the doubt
Will subside.
I loved her.
I only wish I opened her eyes
Like she opened mine.
She loved me.
I only wish her love was
As mine..
Willing to do anything
To make her mind
At ease the same as I.

My Only Escape

Once upon a time
And over again,
Replayed back in my head;
It was you I thought then.
I can be naive,
I can be blind
But the further I pushed,
The harder you were to find.
I’ve struggled to persevere
And What’s to come I do not know,
But the more that I regress
The more I cannot show.

There were times that I’ve loved
And it once was with you,
The others I got past,
But now nothing’s moving through.
I’ve strived past a broken heart,
I sought out a beaten down soul,
I’ve never been much for asking,
But with you I lost all control.
You ripped open a mind afar
And counted down to a knowingly end,
I saw what you had coming
You blocked out the knowing that laws can bend.

I may not be a perfect being
And I can’t help but show the ways
Of being purely honest and real,
I’ll always count out the days.
You threw up your white flag
So fast I couldn’t respond,
But then I learned your truth,
You’re just a stupid blonde.

I resent you for being a coward
And for backing off too soon,
You threw me under a bus
So I ran off {to the moon}

Paranoia

In the dark shades and corners of the night,

I listen for a whisper, a sign of fright.

In spite of any tainted or mislead sight,

I look away and close my eyes tight.

Wake up, wake up..

My functions become dysfunctions,

Delusions or seclusion from an unknown life.

Something grabs me by my throat

And hammers me down into a note

That I reluctantly figure to tote

Around a wreckless side of paranoia.

I’m not taking ideas or dreams lightly,

I’m on the opposite tide of a nightly

Occurrence that could separate

Or decorate the reality, rightfully.

Misconstrued; my mind is a shit show

That I’m banned to know

What in this world is real or a fraud

As I just relentlessly nod away my life.